Death and Enlightenment

I’ve noticed recently that there exists an interesting shadow within our cultural psyche. For so long I’ve seen many people, myself included, who want desperately to reach dream goals, to become all we believe we are in this world, and something. . . holds us back. It makes no rational sense why we wouldn’t want to do what we are most passionate about, yet we do everything to block our path to that dream goal. I think there are a few reasons for this. One is that sometimes people are so used to negative processes that accomplishing a positive process is unfathomable. This is all unconscious of course. I think we can all agree that no rational, conscious thought goes into self-sabotage. But change in any costume is still frightening and uncomfortable to get through. Pushing ourselves through fear is tough.

I think there is a second reason for fearing the accomplishment of what really matters to us and that is that we might fear what others think, or how they value what we are offering. If others don’t like it, and it is our heart’s desire, where do we go from there? Why remain in the world if we can’t do what we are here to do? That brings us to death, doesn’t it?

There is still another reason for not accomplishing our dream goals. I realized this one when I was sitting in a depth psychology class at school. Depth psychology is all about increasing our consciousness, connecting to our spiritual nature, our true Self, both individually and collectively. I noticed that there exists within the field of depth psychology a shadow. Depth psychology (DP) insists that enlightenment is a momentary experience and cannot be held for any length of time. DP also insists that the spiritual realm is a mystery. Nothing can be named and there is no final answer. I got curious about this. It’s not that I believe there is a final answer, but the fact that we insist absolutely that there can’t be one is intriguing. Then I kept hearing people say, “I must have more to learn or I’d be dead”.

Aha! Isn’t this interesting, I thought. If people are convinced that they will die if they reach enlightenment, and death is feared, why would anyone want to achieve their ultimate dream goal? Why would anyone want to really pursue enlightenment if it means dying when they have so much living left to do? Hmmm. If doing what we most love means that we step into our full power and potential, that we are happy and blissful and, therefore, have nothing else to learn, and that means death, why in the world would we do it? So instead we plod along in misery trying to survive and all because of a belief that may not even be true.

If it is true that we can remain alive while working our passion, fulfilling our heart’s desire and maintaining a state of enlightenment without dying, what does that look like? I think we need to consider this possibility and start envisioning a different belief. I for one will stop saying that I would be dead if I’ve done everything I came here to do.

Time and Economy

Time. Every person on earth has this commodity in equal amounts. We all get the same 168 hours in each week yet over time we seem to have less and less of it. What’s going on? In their book Time for Life, John Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey wrote:

In ancient and traditional societies, time had to do with the ebb and flow of tides, the orbits of sun and moon, and the passing of seasons. It was marked by thinning light, the gradual thawing of ice, or the birth of lambs in the endlessly recurring seasons. Time was a circle within which humans lived. Not only was there an element of recreation in the economic activities of most preindustrial cultures, but in many the amount of time available for leisure appears to have been as great or greater than our own. (p. 26)

They went on to explain that preindustrial cultures spend about 3 or 4 hours per day meeting material needs. After eating, sleeping and providing for themselves, people like the aborigines, retain about 84 hours per week for pursuing social, creative and spiritual endeavors. In America, we retain about 30 hours per week for similar pursuits. By the time we occupy that 30 hours with internet browsing, cell phone perusal and television watching, we’ve used it up.

At this point, we’ve become an unconscious automatic culture that is floundering like a fish out of water. In Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung (pp. 64-72) indicated that the drive toward individuation, or claiming the God within, is instinctual and that we have separated from that instinct.

Without time to integrate daily activities within the psyche, or time to pursue spiritual consciousness and creativity, there is no society. There is only a group of automatons serving a different God, an economic God. The original idea was for the economy to serve us, not have us serve the economy. What good is it if we can’t follow our most basic instinct to higher consciousness?

We are in the midst of an awakening to an economic enslavement and our freedom rests in taking back our time. Call your friends and ask them how they are. Spirit thrives within your creativity so create something. Giving material things that you grab off a shelf will not awaken you, but keep you unconsciously serving the economy. Material things are fine and necessary, but all things in good measure to keep the balance. Giving something you create brings the spirit alive of both giver and receiver. That is how the economy can serve us and we can use our time to follow our instinct.

A New Mythology for a New Era

Carl Jung saw a new religion, or new mythology, coming to life in the future. The old mythology involved a single creator God (he was a Protestant Christian) who came down to earth, worked hard for several days and then was never heard from again, except through his son. The new mythology that Jung saw is the same one many of us see today. The stars are aligning for the birth of a new era that brings with it a new God image, a new mythology.

On 11-11-11, astrologically speaking, Neptune, the carrier of illusion, entered 00 degree, 00 minutes and 00 seconds Pisces in the heliocentric wheel. In my opinion, the heliocentric wheel is what we should look at when speaking in terms of planet wide affects to our psyches, for reasons I won’t go into right now. Since Pisces is about sacrifice, hence the age we’ve just left with Yeshua sacrificed on the cross, we can see that our illusions will be sacrificed.

This alignment of Neptune in Pisces has been within orb, meaning we’ve been feeling the effects of it, since about 2000. If you think about it, you can see that since that time, our illusions have been slowly destroyed and they will continue to be for a good while. We are becoming aware of how a veil has been placed over our collective eyes by government (FDA, Federal Reserve, Congress and lobbyists and more), by corporations claiming to be helping us when in fact they’ve been setting us up to serve their acquisition of all funds (this just happened locally as big corporations claimed that allowing them to sell alcohol would increase funds for certain endeavors. This is false. What this new law did was force small businesses to close because they aren’t big enough to carry the alcohol anymore. There is a size restriction in place with this law. Before the state took all the profits and applied them to the tax base. Now, corporations take all the profits. People voted for this because they were led to believe that it would help us, and so they can buy large jugs of whiskey at Costco.), exposure of what’s been happening to our food supply, health care and most recently the economic system itself is being seen as a giant pyramid scheme that has trained us to serve it rather than it serving us.
The illusions will continue to fade into a new reality, a new mythology that increases conscious awareness, or more awareness of the unconscious. Many things of which we have been unaware due to illusion, will continue to be made aware and seen fully.

Beginning now, a new voice will begin to be heard; a voice that will rise above all others and show us where more illusions are hiding. The voice of the masses shouting ENOUGH will force change. The occupy movement is now in about 90 countries and will grow larger.

The new mythology, the new God image calls for all people to claim whom they really are, to claim the God within. This is how Jung saw it, this is how Yeshua saw it and this is how I see it. Suffering and sacrifice belongs to Pisces. Personal freedom, equality and service to humanity belongs to Aquarius. All the things you think you’ve done wrong are forgiven. All the reasons for suffering are vanquished. Claim your God within by agreeing to suffer no more.

Enlightenment

I once was hiking along a wooded trail when I came upon a very large tree. Most old growth trees have been cut but this one was protected in a national forest. It was so beautiful, I had to stop and admire it. As my awareness focused on the tree, I realized that I was communing with it. I could feel its consciousness. In my infantile ignorance I asked, “What kind of tree are you?” Tree said, “I am that I am. To name me as anything diminishes my existence.” I then asked, “How old are you?” Tree said, “I have always been and will always be. To place me in limits of time diminishes me.” I was beginning to understand that this tree’s consciousness was in a place I had never been and had no concept of. It just was while my consciousness was ping-ponging among various linear attitudes. I thought, this must be what enlightenment looks like.

How to get there? Carl Jung saw enlightenment as a process he called Individuation. He saw this process as increasing consciousness by learning to place awareness in the middle of polar opposites. Our energy system works in opposites, hot/cold, up/down, conscious/unconscious etc. Enlightenment, or individuation, is in the middle. We can’t live in either polarity all the time or the energy system naturally must compensate by pulling us back to the other end. Neutrality, like the tree, is where we are going, not to the positive pole. New Age thinkers have us believing that if we are positive, then we are on the right track. Since we have been, historically speaking, negative, this may make immediate sense, but in the end, neutrality is where we really need to be.

Another way to begin paying attention to the unconscious is through symbolism and synchronicity. Symbolism can take on any form. It may be noticing how often you hear a particular phrase or word. If you say a word, and at the same time hear it in a song and you notice it, that is synchronicity. Perhaps you see a set of numbers often or in pairs and this brings meaning to you. It could be a book falling off a shelf just as you walk past. If that happens, buy the book and read it! Synchronicity is the ability to extract meaning from noticing symbolism. Synchronicity and symbolism show you your connection to the all and it guides you along your journey to center.

How to glow.

There are a few people who hold light in their heart most of the time. It is a natural state for them and they wonder what is wrong with the rest of us who hold pessimism and worry. They seem to see things through God’s eyes. They have a practice of finding the positive side of all things, but more than that, they hold gratitude for all things, good and bad. Gratitude for life’s blessing and challenges brings awareness of Spirit in action in every moment. Being present in every moment allows us to appreciate the gifts held within each moment and there are plenty if we look closely enough. Holding light is more than daily spiritual practice like meditation or yoga. It’s holding gratitude at all times, a cosmic perspective and a remembrance of who you are. Those who hold their light find it easy to do so. Those of us who do not, find it difficult, only because we are not practiced at it or we get caught up in the mundane world and forget to pay attention to gratitude within the moment. It will never get easier without practice. My goal is to glow like the guy in this video. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2043263928080

Personal Transformations

Inner shifting lurks in dark hallways of soul recesses. Move me! Move me! It follows wherever I go relentlessly stalking. Self reconnoiters ego looking for cracks to peek through bringing light of awareness. “Mingle with me” it whispers. “I long to bring you home. I miss you and all my fullness.”

Something lunges within and for brief moment I glimmer Self peeking through at me…with knowing smile and wink of eye. I am curious.

Diversions: Reposted

Notice longing to do anything else when faced with opportunity to do what is loved. What is loved is heart singing and soul fulfilling of passion. Passion is personal power rising from the depths of unconsciousness to be lighted from the highest high. What fear lies in fulfilling passion? Accessing personal power terrifies like riding in a plane falling to ground uncontrolled. So unworthy to accomplish Spirit’s will that sought instead is another task. Any task will do.

Trust Spirit? Yes. Trust self? No. How to accept personal power to accomplish Spirit’s will / self-passion? Detach from outcome. Detach from idea of self in charge of path. Detach from all decision making. Trust Spirit to know all means and ways. Trust self not to know how, when, why or what, but to stay out of the way and listen. Listen and follow heart. Spirit will do the rest.

Introspection:
Working at passion brings resistant to accomplishment because passion means stepping into full power and authority. Be willing to accept self as messenger of your path.

Multi-dimensional Depths

When we meet people from other incarnations, we sometimes feel a ‘trigger’ response; a feeling of connection and familiarity that runs deeper than you can put your finger on. This likely invokes a feeling of compulsion to be with that person romantically. You strive to pursue that end only to have the relationship not work out. It was painful as an experience, whether you were actually with them or not.
The pain of that deep love being unrequited opened a dimensional portal and began the process of transcendence on a dimensional level, not just a bridge between your conscious and unconscious, but a bridge between your unconscious and your other unconscious in another incarnation; I’ll call it your super-unconscious for now. This sudden opening of a bridge or portal in your super-unconscious created an electromagnetic vibrational rate change that was too fast for your physical body to manage. Your body became sensitive. You may have developed food intolerances, sound intolerances, smell intolerances, and certain people intolerances. You may have changed your relationships with friends or family, or changed jobs to place yourself among a different kind of person, a new vibrational rate to suit your new vibrational rate.

If you had an experience of a karmic complex activation and within a few months or years developed new sensitivities, you now understand why. The healing process for your body can be slow and requires great dedication, but it will be done.

The purpose of such an experience is one of transcendence on a level of never before attempted strides. The whole of humanity is making a move to bridge the unconscious with the super-unconscious, to other incarnations, because we are ready for that kind of responsibility. We can now, or soon will, access the energy dynamics of other incarnations to increase our super-conscious of this incarnation. This is how we claim the God that we are. This is how we reflect the image of God and become all that we are meant to be.

The Age of Aquarius is providing us a framework for developing our super-conscious and going through a micro-ordeal of sensitivities is part of the process. Claim who you are, but do so slowly and gently so as not to throw yourself any further into physical sensitivities than necessary.

Compassion

Detached compassion: knowledge that others are suffering and a willingness to tolerate that suffering through any justification. Your thoughts might be, ‘that is too bad, but I need to worry about me and mine, or things need to change, someone should do that.’

Compassion fatigue: “I’m so tired of everyone wanting something from me. I can’t take care of everyone so I’ll take care of me. Please don’t ask me for anything.”

Compassion ideology: “I think the world needs more compassion. If everyone would just step up, the world would be a better place and I wouldn’t feel so burdened.”

Compassion embraced: “I see you. I see beauty that shines with the light of heaven. All the things that you think you’ve done wrong, are forgiven. All of them are forgiven. All the reasons for you living in suffering are vanquished. I claim the God that I am and grant you the right to claim the God that you are and suffer no more.”

Times, Depths and Synchronicity

This is not my usual poetic style blog. Today I want to speak to something different. In The Red Book, Carl Jung writes of “the spirit of the depths” and “the spirit of the times”. Spirit of the times means current cultural beliefs and values of the external world on a collective level. It represents religion, political values, monetary values etc. He suggested that at the time, 1913, people were focused on the pursuit of money and religious doctrine in a way that prevented them from really going into the spirit of the depths.

Jung envisioned the spirit of the depths as a person’s inner experience of spirituality, emotions and intuition. He valued the psychology of the depths as significant to living. While the spirit of the times suggested to people that they focus on masculine, external matters, Jung was studying his own personal depths through the interpretation of symbols and mythologies that presented to him in his dreams.

Why do I bring this up? Because Jung found a way to communicate with his higher self by studying his dreams and visions. In his view, dreams and wakeful visions were not just nonsense, but messages from his unconscious side, his spiritual side, his depths. He learned to develop a sense of connection to his higher self by becoming aware of symbolism and synchronicity. He would notice a common vision throughout mythology included black serpents after he had dreams of black serpents. He studied until he could find interpretations of his dreams and in doing so began to understand the language of his higher self, of God, and understood the messages.

By communicating with higher self, whether through dreams, visions or journeys, and learning to notice synchronicity, you awaken your depths and move that much closer to accessing the Christ within. There are others ways of making that connection too, but this is one that most people can accomplish easily.

Begin keeping a dream journal. Ask your partner and friends about their dreams and you will learn to discern which dreams are personal and which are of the collective. Notice if you sneeze at a particular thought or if your dog barks when you are having a significant conversation. Synchronicities can occur in any form and every form. What makes them synchronicities is your ability to extract meaning from them.
The film Fools rush in is a good one for this. The main character played by Matthew Perry, sees signs everywhere telling him what to do. They are only significant signs because he notices them.

Confusion

Confusion remains mighty as new way takes over. Anything new falls into unknown and unknown always feels like chaos and confusion. Structure comes with naming, claiming, taming and harnessing that which is chaotic, giving it shape and form with each step. Claim authority to name. This begins it.

Meditations to Balance Your Emotional Soul and other books by Boston Carter are available at https://nowageknowledge.com/?page_id=143.

Expectations

Like hunter stalking prey, want from others follows as dark shadow plaguing its victim. Hunger for energy, praise, absolution, love, apologies, acknowledgement of existence, worthiness…leaves empty belly.

Hunter insists on stalking the same prey over and over and all the while not catching it…hunter dies. Not catching prey does not reflect hunter’s worthiness as a hunter, but rather prey’s worthiness to escape. The meeting of hunter’s needs lies elsewhere. Hunter must travel a different trail.

Introspection:
Let go of need for validation from others. Stand tall and strong in knowing self and Self. This is the only meal that satisfies hunger.

Synchronicity

Lurking in shadows constantly seeking recognition, synchronicity follows while waiting to lead. LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, it screams. Here is pathway. Here is creation from Self. Look for me everywhere; a bumper sticker, a street sign, something someone says, a song on the radio, numbers on the clock or on a license plate. I am everywhere waiting to be seen.

Introspection
Synchronicity is one of the first things that spiritual people learn to recognize. It is your higher Self showing you the way. Look for it.

Meaninglessness

A state of being that slithers in slowly and stealthily until it suddenly appears in vision; meaninglessness is messenger of refused hero’s call(1). Rigid, set idea of what call should be makes it missed when arrived. Refused call magnifies unanswered question and begs a force to be reckoned. Intensity increases until call recognized and obeyed.

Introspection:
A journey through life requires guidance be followed. If we fear it or ignore it for any reason, life events will force us to eventually recognize it, but only after a period of restlessness and meaninglessness in life. A feeling of being lost, confused or ignored by God will persist until the call is answered.

(1) From Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

Sickness and Health

I’m not going to give you one of my usual poetic emotional descriptors today. Instead I’m going to write on a subject I am rather passionate about. With five planets in Taurus, yes I said five, I have a strong relationship with food. I am a proponent of organic farming and green agricultural practices. Why? As a medical intuitive, I’ve seen a tremendous rise in auto-immune diseases. In fact, I have one myself. Like most of you, I’ve been taught that sugar is ok, pharmaceutical drugs heal and too many vitamins are bad. I’ve also been taught that Medical Doctors know everything and it’s good for our food to load it up with pesticides so it looks pretty. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, M.S. and every other conceivable ailment is the body’s way of saying, “I’m out of balance. Please help me.” How do we fix it? We give it more garbage, in the way of pharmaceuticals, to process and then wonder why we don’t get better.

The health care industry is a multi-billion dollar a year industry. In a capitalist society, there is no motivation for people to be well. There is every motivation to keep them just well enough so as to buy more cures, but not actually heal them and have the financial well run dry. In medical school, doctors are given two hours or less of education on nutrition, at least that’s what I’ve heard. The body requires nutrients in order to heal itself. Pills don’t heal and frankly, who are we to think that we understand the body better than the body does? Every time a new drug is made, a new problem is made to go with it. The body knows what to do and is driven to seek healing balance if we would just give it what it needs.

Fruits and vegetables contain micronutrients. Everything else we eat is a macronutrient. Micronutrients help the body to eliminate waste and balance the body’s natural chemistry with their high levels of anti-oxidants. Intense levels of micronutrients bring the body back to health. In liquid form is the easiest to absorb.

Juicing fresh fruits and vegetables can heal your body. I know that giving up the heavy fats and sugars is tough but it is doable, at least for a short time so you can reboot your immune system and clean up your chemistry.

I recommend three documentaries about nutrition and how it heals your body: “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”, The Beautiful Truth, and Food Matters. All are available on Netflix.
I will be entering a juice fast this coming week to begin my healing. Here’s to your health.

Meditation

Truth sought through unseen forces thriving within. Introversion and silence awaken sleeping beauty Self. Look deep within to touch what is real and find that which is missed. Commune with Self briefly, for kiss of peace and notion of unity that is pursued from day one of incarnation. Separation of Self leaves longing for reunion to that which cannot be touched.

Introspection
Upon incarnation, separation of Soul brings forth personality that longs for reunion with higher Self; always seeking that which has not been reached while incarnate. Touch Self briefly through meditation…allowing self to step aside so Self can come forth.

Astrology

Stars and planets circle heaven emitting radiations of destiny. Determined to manage timing, personality and event potentials, the Lords reign supreme over physical incarnation. Angles and trajectories dictate human task from life to life. What mythologies and archetypes will be created through this life? What subtle essence shall be reflected from the Universal Energy Matrix through human existence? Stars, planets and asteroids radiate their own unique magnetism, then join forces in combination of nuance at human gestation and birth. Astrology, numerology, math, music, cosmology, biology, geology, psychology and much more: all studies of matrix reflections. Every human being participates in study.

Healing

Ailing body, thriving soul: illness giftwraps healing. Through intense pain and suffering, mind follows spirit. Falling to knees, cries of anguish resound, “Oh God. Please…” Through mediocrity, mind follows lower self and selfishness…but it doesn’t have to. Follow heart and passion with vigilance and without fail. To do otherwise invites healing redirection that can appear as poverty, hunger, loneliness, illness and many other masks.

Intuition

Information waves ripple through ethers waiting to be received with nervous system at the ready for communication both to and from others. Electromagnetic radiation from people, planets, animals… send and receive data. Sensitive people know what truth is, but feel crazy when others words don’t match truth. What to do, what to do…. Find others like you and crazy stops.

Introspection
Many intuitive people don’t know that they are intuitive, they just know that something is different and since most people don’t talk about such things, they don’t understand what is happening. Intuition speaks what is unspoken and rings in more truth than what is seen. Listen…listen.

Two for One: Endings and Beginnings

Endings

The direction of west ends the day. Destruction of what was makes way for creation of what is to come. Form to formlessness, to chaos and back to potential. Night begins as day ends. Day begins as night ends. Endings bring beginnings. Cycles upon cycles. Time after time.

Introspection
Most do not like change and express sorrow to endings. Celebrate endings. All endings. No such thing as bad event.

Beginnings


Chaos in form, formlessness in order, beginnings arise through pure potential of nothing that is also everything; one building block at a time drawn out of creation’s disorder. Pluck! One block is down and it is named. Pluck! Two blocks down and it is claimed. Pluck! Three blocks down and it is tamed. Pluck! Four blocks down and foundation formed. Process of beginnings 1, 2, 3, 4 and then build some more.

Introspection
Beginnings, full of excitement, arise from endings. To bring order from chaos through process. Name it, the idea. Claim it as own. Tame it into pattern. Form it into structure.

Cycles

Frenetic motion runs rampant with high noon sun and southern exposure. Lightset comes welcoming westerly ends of action. Midnight comes bringing northerly respite and reset systems, like that of hibernating bear. Lightrise stirs mind and body from respite; begins call to action and once again greet high noon. Cycles run each hour, each day, each year and each sidereal year. Sidereally speaking, Lightrise is upon us.

Boundaries:

Essential to physical life, lines hold definition and placement. Lines create shapes that bring order from chaos and labels to reflect reality. Lines, labels and boxes bring sanity. Lines fixed hard into stone are finite and immovable. Lines drawn in water disappear as soon as they are made. Lines sketched soft onto paper are erasable and changeable.

Heart-felt lines, both fixed and flexible, make relating possible. Holding lines hard when heart wants to be soft brings challenge.

Introspection:
Hard lines, like levees along the ocean, bring safety and security against mighty forces. Soft lines give flexibility to gentler forces. Knowing when to be hard and when to be soft is one part of self-mastery.

Transformation

Slow, gradual change uplifts to higher realms that which is sought through eternity. A return to Self. The one that is missing, has always been missing without knowing what it is. Climb Jacob’s ladder upon the rungs of karma clearing a pathway to Self, truth of truth. Twin trees of life and knowledge return self again and again to different rungs on ladder….always climbing.

Introspection
Life after life we seek to re-ascend after the descent into matter; a constant cycle of working energy to know Self.

Perception

Seeing other through kaleidoscopic lens skews vision of beauty into monsters, telling stories of persecution, betrayal and lies when truth is clear. How to alter vision so truth is seen? Many truths exist within any one event. Choose to seek options. Look through other’s lens. Corrective vision comes with time and practice.

Free Will

Like thunder rolling through sky, chaos finds humans through insistence to be heard. Must have way, which brings poor use of free will. Free will is wrench of enlightenment when used to turn screws of listening and a clog of gears when used as power. Power misused brings frustration… chaos. Exercised well, free will allows flow of energy and information like rain falling, seeking ocean through mountains.

Envy

A green monster creeps into thoughts as attention is focused on another’s achievement or possession. It stomps in loud and uproarious boasting of what is had. It stands tall on its hind legs looking intimidating as it shouts out ‘I am better than you’ and self perceives attack. How to fight a monster so much bigger than self?

Thoughts and feelings power to full throttle as self detaches from other’s seeming successes. Attention shifts back to self’s path and life. self’s path is good too, just different. Green monster has nothing on self with inner independence. This is what binds Self and self together.

Waiting

Life creeps along more slowly than desire for movement. Transition to another step in journey’s purpose leaves wanting for more…now. Conscious self wants control, wants progress, wants, wants, wants like small child expressing tantrums of yearning.

Striving to complete journey brings stoppages, one after another. Let go screams higher self. Let us see what’s next. Let us run things from where we can see the future. Allow self to relax; enjoy a break in between tasks. No movement now sees busy-ness in near future. Eliminate struggle, wait for planets to align with your mission; wait for right timing. Wait.

Introspection:
When confusion and directionless mind-set in, wait with patience, understanding and knowing that all is well and in right timing: trust.

Today, I look for solace and peace as I release all that occupies my mind. Today there will be no work. Today, I am holding space for myself to wander aimlessly through the deep crevasses of my being while at the same time floating through as an observer. Today is meant as a present moment when nothing happens at all. Today is my birthday; an opportunity to give myself permission to let go of all that is and isn't.

I think this means that I go shopping for art supplies and do whatever I want. :)

Success

Stalking cash in endless effort for more, yet it eludes. Success lives as energy. Consciousness motor pushes success in vehicle of self-confidence. Knowing who you are and for what you stand. Stand in knowledge with heaviest gravity. Value what is offered other and trust self to say what limits are.

Introspection: Success is an energy archetype, and as such cannot be measured by money. Measuring by money will push it away. Instead see success as feeling confident. Know what matters to you and how you value that. Know what you want to give to the world and value it. Money follows value. One part of valuing self is to trust self. In our culture, we tend to want to present ourselves in a neat and perfect package. But you will always know that you are covering and that is something you will not trust. You must trust yourself and to do that you must be willing to say what your limits are. That is what’s real and true.

Faith and Disappointment

Like black tire hanging from tree, faith and disappointment swing forward and back, forward and back. Dichotomous states weigh heavy strain on branch’s support. Hope for future. Fear of past repeats. Branch creaks as tire becomes heavier with each passing swing adding force to make it go higher and higher until… it breaks.

Unoccupied, tire hangs in stillness. Branch remains strong. Tree remains vital and connected to other trees. No swing, no strain, no creak, no break… No fun.

Still tire invites movement; invites action. Can tire swing without becoming heavy and burdensome to branch? Can dichotomous states exist in moderation to allow experience of life without careening out of control? Wishes and dreams put into action without attachment to outcome, or timing, swings the tire just enough to have fun without breaking the branch.

Judgement

Like thunder, the booming voice of judgment rolls out in ripples as it licks the aura of other only to echo back and penetrate identity. Lightening strikes out another chip of self-esteem, as longing to push away self-realization satiates for the moment. Strive to raze back from the ashes by throwing another ball of BOOM only to burn further down.

Thunder penetrates and lightening burns bringing opportunity of transformation. Renovate self in the wake of casted ripples. Become a phoenix of discernment, which casts nothing: not to other, and therefore, not to self.

Expectations

Like hunter stalking prey, want from others follows as a dark shadow plaguing its victim. Hunger for energy, praise, absolution, love, apologies, acknowledgement of existence, worthiness…leaves empty belly.

Hunter insists on stalking the same prey over and over and all the while not catching it…hunter dies. Not catching prey does not reflect hunter’s worthiness as a hunter, but rather prey’s worthiness to escape. The meeting of hunter’s needs lies elsewhere. Hunter must travel a different trail.

Introspection:

To expect certain attitudes from someone who won’t feed you leaves you hungry for more praise, more apologies and more acknowledgements. To continue seeking these from the same person who won’t give them, is to kill yourself from starvation. Either seek what you hunger for from within yourself, or surround yourself with those who appreciate what you offer them as food. Both is preferable.

Risk

Through door of jeopardy enters all things. Once possessed, undeniably again lost. What price paid for that desired? What cost to not have desired? No risk then no love, no met needs, no juice of life. Cost? Yes. Worth it? Yes. Meaning enters through gate of jeopardy too.

Discontent

Lurking, impatient heaviness lingers like thick fog as it writhes with loathing in wait, wait. ‘Take this from me’, it screams. Bring something, anything that reeks of success, of movement, of satisfaction for now. What is it? Unknown, but bring it.
Disgruntlement driven awry through vehicle of faith, of certainty, of right timing. Conjure faith through portal of release. Become prey rather than predator and let go of outcome. Let go of desire. As prey, desire no longer lives.

Introspection:

Discontent with what is happening now brings misery. To know outcome is always desired and rarely obtained so to let go of need to understand God’s intent brings peace. Letting go is what prey does when it sees a predator has it in its grip.

Source and scarcity

The sword of fire reigns, knighting with two paradoxical forces: scarcity and resourcefulness. Blade cuts path of new thought as understanding pervades mind. Scarcity is in mind, not real. Not real. Source lies within and takes form of giving. What gift is offered brings resources. Aid another to be successful. Offer another what is longed for self and prosperity rules. Then blade swings to re-knight as great leader (warrior) and resourcefulness rules mind.

Diversions

Notice a longing to do anything else when faced with the opportunity to do what is loved. What is loved is heart singing and soul fulfilling of passion. Passion is personal power rising from the depths of unconsciousness to be shone upon from the highest high. What fear lies in fulfilling passion? Accessing personal power terrifies like riding in a plane falling to ground uncontrolled. So unworthy to accomplish God’s will that sought instead is another task. Any task will do.

Trust God? Yes. Trust self? No. How to accept personal power to accomplish God’s will / self-passion? Detach from outcome. Detach from idea of Self in charge of path. Detach from all decision making. Trust God to know all means and ways. Trust self not to know how, when, why or what, but to stay out of the way and listen. Listen and follow heart. God will do the rest.

Breakthrough

With world on shoulders, muscles ache from step after step of mountainous climb. See the top, up there, just out of reach. Wait! Want to go down. Wait again! Can’t turn around. Would roll and tumble and be crushed by the globe. Must continue forward with step after step. Faith hangs on. When peak is grasped, breakthrough sings the dawn.

Introspection:

Life can seem like an uphill climb full of responsibility and obligation. Life becomes joyful when peaks are reached and the burden put down to roll it’s own way, leaving you to glide on the kite your higher self packed for your journey; the one you didn’t know you had.

Conviction

Boulder worn smooth stands propped on precipice by surrounding smaller stones. Stones’ idea becomes boulder’s. Thunderous clap and lightening strike crack boulder sending it down cliff to rest as jagged rock. No longer propped by stones, rock remains strong, hard and true to self with nowhere to fall.

Introspection:

Conviction of beliefs is easy when others agree. Real conviction comes when beliefs fall outside the majority and self stands certain anyway.

Adversity

Character is like a tree that bows in a mighty wind as it gains strength through it’s own resistance to adverse conditions. Life brings winds of change upon even the most innocent, not as a test or punishment, but as a building block in the very foundation of a soul. Current times are challenging and it is good. New foundations are being created through shifts and change as new energies align in the heavens bringing forth an era of sharing and equality.

Adverse times build strength and character like a mighty tree in high winds. Go forth knowing that all is grand and on purpose. Nothing is lost. Destruction before construction: No foundation can be built any other way.

Sovereignty

Deep in the core of Self lies the authority to wrestle down inner demons to cooperative, sedentary status. Costumed in fear, demons render powerless that which is supremely powerful. Self possesses complete power to discern lines that others may not cross, complete authority to value Self regardless of outside opinion. No one at any time has any power to influence a conscious state, unless such power is given.

Give away sovereignty and lose Self to other. Retain authority over Self, alone and no other, to gain freedom and connection within. Willingness to stand for something, to take a strong position and hold it even when it’s hard is to gain Self. The Universe will test on this. Fear and insecurity will thrive as life’s challenging maze is traversed. The way out of the maze? …follow heart, especially when it’s hard.

Growing Pains

As tree takes many years to rise to its full potential, so does human take lifetimes to mature. Body grows quickly compared to mind. Mind may live forever and not reach its potential, yet potential is always, always right there to stretch out and take hold of.

Painful moment brings strength, or weakness if chosen. Use mind to see through cosmic eyes and build stamina to overcome personality’s thinking. True strength of spirit comes through mature mind that knows all is well. ALL is well.

Reincarnation

Physical life: an incredibly short time…on purpose. To live is to act in a single play, to be in dream state from reality. Life is death from real Self. Come back again and again to experience all parts of Self; that which is whole when not incarnate. While whole, can’t see all Self. Must break into parts to understand full capacity of soul.
Soul takes knowledge and experience back to others, while personality remains behind. Personality learns while soul already knows, but gains experience. Life is good. Death is good. They are one-in-the-same.

Mind Decadence

Thoughts circle round and round like vultures waiting to feed on death. Worry, wondering and fear duke it out to see which shall eat today. They think if they keep circling, their prey will die. Round and round they fly. Round and round till it dies.
What would stop their flight? Prey rising up to greet them, sending them on their way. Life lives here, as it must, in the form of flow, mastery and trust.

Endings

Destruction of what is returns form to formlessness, to chaos; back to potential. Sun does not rise until daylight ends. Rest does not occur until action ends. Love does not occur until hate and anger end. Cycles occur continuously.

Stagnation

Stillness out of balance, stagnation needs churning. Ocean waves roll up onto shore and back out into vastness. They do not remain on shore to die suffocating. In and out, up and down, winter and summer, spring and fall, cycles of movement and change bring life to all.

Unknown

Unknown stinks to highest heaven of chaos. Smells cling to inner nostrils and tastes bitter until creative potential released. What to do with chaos? Gain knowledge. Enough knowledge and the unknown becomes known, or does it? Religion explains unknown to be feared or worshiped. Spirituality discerns chaos of unknown as individual beliefs. self pulls belief from heavenly chaos bringing it to world in form. Knowledge, unknown side by side in non-linear form changing through each individual who interprets it.